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Most people when they think of communication, they think it in a simplistic form, that is in the following format
Sender ——–> Message ——–> Receiver
While this is common and normal, communication is much more than just sending out a message, the problem with this common format is that the Sender make some assumptions
1. He/She assume that the message will reach the receiver.
2. He/She assume that the receiver will understand the message
While writing this it remind me when I was in secondary school, the head boy happened to be in the same class with me and being a head boy, he was asked to give speeches during weekly student assembly representing the students. What happened was, he is very good in his vocabulary, and almost every speech he gave, he would phrases his sentences with the new words that he learn and at time, I wonder where he got those words from. Many of us, often trying to comprehend what he wanted us to know and at time some of us looked at each other and really look stupid as we do not understand what our head boy was saying considering that we were in the same class with him. And if his own classmates did not understand what he said, how about the lower grades students? Will they understand, if they don’t then the purpose of giving the speeches had failed as there is no communication. This is a typical case assuming the receiver understand your message.
Another typical scenario about broken (if you like to called that) communication is in a social function, most organizer would invite some VIP to grace the function and it is natural that the VIP must gave speech,. It is not uncommon that while the VIP is delivering his speech on stage, the audience is also have their own speech with acquaintances new or old. It makes me wonder also, how man of this speeches or communication are actually reaching the receivers, every one is talking to each other and no one is listening. And how many of these new acquaintances will actually develop into a new relationship.
Most relationship fall apart, majority of them is caused by poor communication, be it husband and wife, parents and children, man and women, customers relations, when one party started to assume the behaviors of the other and when they got to “too familiar’ with him or her. it is the beginning of a communication barriers building up, before too long as the barrier is building up, it signal the beginning of a broken relationship. So improving your communication skill will greatly improving your relationship, after all human being is a social being and we just cannot do away in relationship. Robinson courser also have Friday. 
The communication process is much more than just
Sender ——–> Message ——–> Receiver.
There are more to it just like our life, if life is so simple, than it will be very boring. Remember this, about communication,
“Information is giving out; communication is getting through.” Sydney J. Harris.
“The Real Message is not what you say. It is what the other person remembers.” Harry Mills.
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My last posting Make Them Like You, Lim Ee Hai Said, “As a teacher, this ” make me important” message is very true as applied to the students. Praising them helps make them feel great. After which, they will have less resistance relating to you. Great post”
Thanks Lim, Maths is my favorite subject in school, as far as I know, I seldom score less than 90% on any maths test. However back then, teachers are The Authority is their subject taught, you cannot “Question” them even though when you know there were wrong. I remember very well that during one of the test, the teacher actually the head mistress was giving a maths test and she always like to use her Blue Eyes boys i.eThe Head Boy test answer as a marking standard. Later we discovered that one of the answer she marked many of us wrong was actually correct and the head boy’s answer was wrong, we “argue” with her and finally she gave up and her solution, everyone added Two Points. So it ended up, student who got the wrong answer as the head boy’s answer got four points and student who got the right answer got two points. And the Point here is, it doesn’t pay to argue, you may win the argument, but lost the favor. Those were the days. And I would like to related to our today communication technique. “Questions are the Answer.” and how I wish I have learn that back then.
I just came back from a management meeting (been busy that’s ahy not posting for a week here. 
excuse ) and in the meeting one of the member presented a SWOT analysis and elaborated on the weaknesses and challenges that his department had faced, it looked like a normal way of presentation but the mistake he made was not preparing for the “questions” arising out from by his presentation. When he finished his presentation, the chair was apparently not satisfied, and wanted a better performance, instead of telling the member want he needed to do, he “question” him on what he did and what he is going to do. Every answer given was answered back with another “question”
Many people, especially sale people, equip with all the sales training, product knowledge and being an “expert” in their field always make a near fatal, if not fatal mistake, they always like to tell their prospects or customers. The secret of effective communication is Listening, and in order for us to get the most out of the customers, like my previous posting ending paragraph on the advice by Joe advise “Let the customer reveal himself, while you watch and listen and he’ll lay himself open for the close.” To induce the customer to say more, what better way then to ask “question”? Questions that open the floor for more information and to add what Joe advice, Allen Pease, the great Body Language master had written a small but powerful book on communication, my personal view is all salesperson especially those in Network marketing and MLM must read, Questions Are the Answers, - How to get the “yeses” in Network marketing.
You will realize that when in a communication situation while having the same answer, what the customer say is true, what you say is wrong. Winning the communication game is not that difficult after all, when you know that “Questions are The Answers!”
ASK DON’T TELL. and don’t trust my word for it, Check it out yourself.
August/September Focus onCommunication
GET QUOTE
In communication it is the receiver who needs to be thought about. I want to raise one more example – we all watch movies and an actor is actually a communicator who communicates the character to the audience. The more an audience “feels” the actor, the more the character becomes clear. Its the art of getting the message delivered that makes an effective communicator.
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