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Have you ever watch kids in kindergarten lesson, whenever their teacher asked a question many of them will raise their hand eager to answer the teacher’s question. Never mind  whether they knew the answer or not or whether they gave the correct answer. All they wanted is to have their name heard.

Mary Kay of the Mary Kay cosmetics was once asked how she could be so successful with people and build an empire of networkers who are willing to go the extra miles to promote her cosmetics. Mary Kay answer was simple but full of impact, Mary said, “IN front of every body, there is an invisible sign which they hold which say, ‘MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT!’”

Master communicator knows the importance of making the other person feel important and that he or she is being respected when they are talking. In the 7 habits of Highly Effective People, Dr Steven Covey said that we must First Seek to understand than to be understand. Most people are more concern on what they wanted you to know about THEM then they wanted to know about you.

A case in point here is, in May this year, my wife and I attended a seminar about Property Investment, as we were from a different state and did not know the convention hall well, we stop and asked a lady who happened to attended the same seminar. And we stoke out the conversation, first with small talk and then her profession and even sought her professional opinion on her expertise. Later we found out that she charged her clients few thousand for a day consultancy. After the seminar, this lady and my wife become very good friend and she offer to give my wife an entrance ticket to  T. Harv Ekar’s Guerrilla Business School seminar which was sold for over $4000 for 2 participants. Many of her friends have been asking her for the Free extra ticket but she gave to my wife whom she just met for a day and did not even know she had such a ticket. Ask me why, my guess is we make her feel important than many of her friends just interested in the free ticket.

“The Only way to influence is to talk in term of what the other person wants.” Dale Carnegie

So some tips on influence other people,

1. Know their name.
2. Make them feel important.
3. Have a genuine interest in getting to know them
4. Talk in term of what they want.
5. Smile Always

Some people may think that this is a little manipulative but when communication is concerned, the worse situation is you win an argument but lost a friend.

August/September Focus onCommunication

When you investigate the most powerful and influential people in the world, you will discover that they all have something in common. Effective communication. Whether they personally possess such skills or have hired a support team that did, ultimately, effective communication was one of the fundamental keys to their success. Using the principles of powerful communication, they developed the ability to influence others in a profound way, all the while winning both respect and admiration.

1. Subjective Communication

2. What to Say when you Talk to yourself?

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